I'm sure I speak for 99,95 % of the world's population when I say, "success is by far the number one desire of most people." I mean, who doesn't want to make it big, rake in the big bucks, live like royalty and ride off into the sunset with the love of their life? I know I've been dreaming about it since I discovered this interesting little contraption called 'money' during my early childhood...
It would really be narrow-minded to simply define 'success' as having boatloads of money. The truth is; success means a lot of different things to different people. To some it's sending their kids to the best schools in the country (or beyond), to others it's a gloriously wonderful marriage, while to others it's the exhilaration of climbing Mount Everest or watching a dazzling red sunset in the Maldives. Whatever your definition of success, there's only one factor that can either stop you or propel you towards your goals, and that factor is... wait for it... YOU!
I'm sure you're thinking, "Sure, I've heard this a million times, but what do I need to DO to live my dreams?" Well, the most critical step on the road to greatness is recognizing any self-sabotaging behaviors and habits that you may have. The first and most common of these is the failure or refusal to take responsibility for one's choices.
Like a lot of people out there, I've played the infamous 'blame-game' - "I would have tried out for the soccer team if the coach wasn't so intimidating", "I would have aced the exam if the teacher had done a better job","I would have gotten to work on time if the taxi-driver hadn't delayed," "I would have had my happily-ever-after if my boyfriend had been more loving..." and on and on and on... I'm sure you can relate, or at least try.
My point is this: at the end of the day, we, not anyone else, hold the power for achieving our dreams and living the life that we want. We CHOOSE to make the most of the opportunities presented to us or to let them pass us by because they're too challenging. We CHOOSE to hold on to a relationship that's clearly not working or to let go and start over with someone that deserves our love. We CHOOSE to get up, dress up and show up or to bury ourselves under our bedroom covers... We control the outcome of our lives.
Unfortunately, many of us either don't realize this or are so spooked by the idea that we hide behind others and use them as scape-goats for our own fears, failures and poor judgment. Blaming everyone else for your 'coulda, shoulda, wouldas' is a sure-fire recipe for a life of mediocrity. Get rid of all the excuses and resist the urge to spend your life living in the shadows. You have all the intelligence, creativity and talent you need to excel. So go out there and make things happen! Don't be a spectator!
The second self-sabotaging habit is laziness. This usually shows up in a variety of ways, such as bunking school, absconding from work and important meetings, failing to write assignments, reports etc - for no other reason than that you just didn't "feel like it." You'd be amazed how many outrageously gifted people have been fired from high-profile jobs, failed exams and missed opportunities of a lifetime simply because they lacked the inner drive necessary to meet the demands of their profession. Laziness can rear its ugly head in romantic relationships too - cancelling dates on a regular basis because you're just "not in the mood", failing to return phone-calls as a habit or not 'feeling like' doing anything special for your partner's birthday every year... I'm sure you get the picture.
If any of this sounds like you, you need to nip it in the bud - NOW. Don't expect other people to push, drag and kick you into pulling your weight at school, at work or in your relationships. Draw up a schedule if you have to, break your work down into small, manageable tasks, save important dates and appointments in your phone / computer / diary and set an alarm to remind you in case you forget... And if your passivity is caused by depression, please get professional help - quickly. Do whatever it takes to meet your targets and not get left behind. You only live once - make it count!
The 3rd and final self-sabotaging habit (for the purposes of this article) is poor time management. Here's a scenario: you spend so much time watching the latest Brad Pitt blockbuster that you end up too bummed out study for an important exam... OR you get so carried away commenting on the status updates of your 10,000 Facebook friends that you miss a business lunch with a major client... If your life looks anything like this, it's time for a much-needed turn-around. This is where time-tables and accountability come in.
To effectively manage your time and meet your daily objectives, make to-do lists and set time aside for each task. Do the most important things first and put in your best effort before running off to play golf or shop for a new pair of designer shoes. Get an accountability partner to check on your progress every now and then if it's necessary (it usually is) and keep in mind that sometimes you need to do what you don't enjoy today so that you can have a life that you'll enjoy tomorrow. If you pay the price now, you'll reap the rewards later. And if you play, you WILL pay.
In closing, remember: "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
Til ' next time!
The Sassy Graduate
I'm sure you're thinking, "Sure, I've heard this a million times, but what do I need to DO to live my dreams?" Well, the most critical step on the road to greatness is recognizing any self-sabotaging behaviors and habits that you may have. The first and most common of these is the failure or refusal to take responsibility for one's choices.
Like a lot of people out there, I've played the infamous 'blame-game' - "I would have tried out for the soccer team if the coach wasn't so intimidating", "I would have aced the exam if the teacher had done a better job","I would have gotten to work on time if the taxi-driver hadn't delayed," "I would have had my happily-ever-after if my boyfriend had been more loving..." and on and on and on... I'm sure you can relate, or at least try.
My point is this: at the end of the day, we, not anyone else, hold the power for achieving our dreams and living the life that we want. We CHOOSE to make the most of the opportunities presented to us or to let them pass us by because they're too challenging. We CHOOSE to hold on to a relationship that's clearly not working or to let go and start over with someone that deserves our love. We CHOOSE to get up, dress up and show up or to bury ourselves under our bedroom covers... We control the outcome of our lives.
Unfortunately, many of us either don't realize this or are so spooked by the idea that we hide behind others and use them as scape-goats for our own fears, failures and poor judgment. Blaming everyone else for your 'coulda, shoulda, wouldas' is a sure-fire recipe for a life of mediocrity. Get rid of all the excuses and resist the urge to spend your life living in the shadows. You have all the intelligence, creativity and talent you need to excel. So go out there and make things happen! Don't be a spectator!
The second self-sabotaging habit is laziness. This usually shows up in a variety of ways, such as bunking school, absconding from work and important meetings, failing to write assignments, reports etc - for no other reason than that you just didn't "feel like it." You'd be amazed how many outrageously gifted people have been fired from high-profile jobs, failed exams and missed opportunities of a lifetime simply because they lacked the inner drive necessary to meet the demands of their profession. Laziness can rear its ugly head in romantic relationships too - cancelling dates on a regular basis because you're just "not in the mood", failing to return phone-calls as a habit or not 'feeling like' doing anything special for your partner's birthday every year... I'm sure you get the picture.
If any of this sounds like you, you need to nip it in the bud - NOW. Don't expect other people to push, drag and kick you into pulling your weight at school, at work or in your relationships. Draw up a schedule if you have to, break your work down into small, manageable tasks, save important dates and appointments in your phone / computer / diary and set an alarm to remind you in case you forget... And if your passivity is caused by depression, please get professional help - quickly. Do whatever it takes to meet your targets and not get left behind. You only live once - make it count!
The 3rd and final self-sabotaging habit (for the purposes of this article) is poor time management. Here's a scenario: you spend so much time watching the latest Brad Pitt blockbuster that you end up too bummed out study for an important exam... OR you get so carried away commenting on the status updates of your 10,000 Facebook friends that you miss a business lunch with a major client... If your life looks anything like this, it's time for a much-needed turn-around. This is where time-tables and accountability come in.
To effectively manage your time and meet your daily objectives, make to-do lists and set time aside for each task. Do the most important things first and put in your best effort before running off to play golf or shop for a new pair of designer shoes. Get an accountability partner to check on your progress every now and then if it's necessary (it usually is) and keep in mind that sometimes you need to do what you don't enjoy today so that you can have a life that you'll enjoy tomorrow. If you pay the price now, you'll reap the rewards later. And if you play, you WILL pay.
In closing, remember: "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
Til ' next time!
The Sassy Graduate